Friday, January 1, 2010

line 15ish

Happy new year. I just had a look at the spirit of this blog and realised I have nothing I said I would do. Oh well. Here we go.
Wet wool around her legs; the damp cold morning; these were small problems. Nothing to worry about. She had made it through with Juliet over the last three years. They would survive the next day. The next week. The next month.
I quite like the summing up quality of these lines.  We know that Viola is annoyed by the circumstances of the morning, but here we understand that her experience has been larger and more broad that what has been suggested this far. We have scope. A backstory if you will. Yes, well.
I don't know about the use of the semi colon twice. That might be wrong. I also think that, yet again, the voice might be out of time. Nothing to worry about seems wrong - too causal, too modern. Perhaps I could write:
Viola would be happy to hold these problems every day. The blood and death of the war she could no longer hold. But she had made it through this far, made it through with Juliet. This day too, would be one they would survive. And the next day. The next week. The next month.
This feels more secure as a couple of lines. We have contrast here, and so I think it makes more sense. So she has made it across the yard to the hen house, has reflected on her problems and the war, and is about to go and get eggs. Not too bad. We still don't quite know where she is and what war, but all in good time. Soonish, and sharpish.

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